i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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