Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
