when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
