smell my finger.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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