When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
