she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
