There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
