I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
whose parrot is this?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
