I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
