May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize