I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
