sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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