is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
