I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
