Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
