i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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