I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my liver is dry heaving
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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