Three words: puerto rican gang bang
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
