what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
