idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
