Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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