so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Best friends brother. Beat that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
