i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
