remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
