I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
