'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
