I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just want to make out with him forever
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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