i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
