there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
