The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
