Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
