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batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
