He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
