Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
