Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
