Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
