i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
