No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
