He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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