Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
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