I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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