I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
