just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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