I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
