I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
