@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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