Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
