We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize