Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
