so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
