I skipped work to stalk him.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
