No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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