My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
