and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
what day is it and did you see me today?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
