If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize