I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
