Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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