i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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