i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
