So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
