Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
pray to the hookup gods
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
