Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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