My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
