I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
